In the past, when people have asked me if I have any pet peeves, I have casually shrugged my shoulders and said, "Nah, not really."
I've never been satisfied with that answer.
"Nah, not really" isn't a good answer for any question ever asked. For example: You hear someone ask another person, "Hey, do you have aids?" They respond by saying, "Nah, not really." Confusion immediately ensues.
Well guess what, I finally have a major pet peeve. And yes, it involves fantasy football.
I absolutely cannot stand it when you have been checking the status of players all week, and come Friday, you still don't know if they are going to play in Sunday or Monday's game or not.
I have Darren McFadden on my roster. ALL WEEK ESPN planted a big, fat, red "Q" beside his name. The "Q" stands for questionable. When I click on their pop-up blurb to see the latest on his status for the upcoming game, ESPN makes it sound like he can barely walk!
Let's just say when I hear the word "questionable," I'm thinking that McFadden will not be playing in the game on Sunday. Is it reasonable for me to assume this? I'd like to think so.
So what did I do? I benched McFadden for the week. He's "questionable." Of course I benched him. I'd rather Beanie Wells sop up his lousy five points than have McFadden's spot going to waste on my roster. Yes, going to waste. Going to waste like sloppy joe sandwiches in a high school cafeteria. For the record, sloppy joe's served in a cafeteria are absolutely atrocious and should never even be eaten by my neighbors dog - who, by the way, constantly drops bombs in our front yard - much less humans.
But yeah, come Saturday I'm still staring at this giant "Q" beside Run DMC's name. In my book, he's out - not playing.
Not in his.
How does McFadden reward me for placing him on the bench for the week? Does he chill on the sidelines in his street clothes with a damp towel around his neck and a fitted hat resting softly on the top of his head cocked a little to the side? Not a chance.
What does he do? He plays. But not only does he play, he careers it! Unbelievable. The man went off for 43 fantasy points! 43 points for a guy with a big, red "Q" beside his name all week?! Are you kidding me!? Wow.
In case you were wondering, yes, I did lose the game. And yes, it was by less than 43 points. Much less.
Thanks ESPN. Because of you, I will never have to say, "Nah, not really" ever again.
Until next time...
FF
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
The next great L.T.
Step aside Lawrence Taylor and LaDainian Tomlinson. It's time to share the most famous initials in professional football.
Lawrence Timmons, linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, is the next great L.T. in the NFL. Call me a homer if you wish, but there is no denying that the man is a freak. Through five games this season he already has stacked up 59 tackles, three sacks, one forced fumble and one interception. Not to mention, he lays the wood... legally. And believe me when I say the NFL's crackdown on illegal hits doesn't have Timmons mulling retirement unlike another star, Steelers defensive player. But that discussion is for another day.
Until next time...
FF
Lawrence Timmons, linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, is the next great L.T. in the NFL. Call me a homer if you wish, but there is no denying that the man is a freak. Through five games this season he already has stacked up 59 tackles, three sacks, one forced fumble and one interception. Not to mention, he lays the wood... legally. And believe me when I say the NFL's crackdown on illegal hits doesn't have Timmons mulling retirement unlike another star, Steelers defensive player. But that discussion is for another day.
Until next time...
FF
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The life of a fan of the cellar dweller
Before this year's Tennessee football season started, I predicted the Vols would go 5-7. The only reason I predicted the record I did was just in case they did happen to have a losing record - psychologically at least - it wouldn't hurt as bad. Well that theory has proven false. Every time UT loses it still... well... it still sucks. We currently sit at the season's halfway point and the Vols are 2-4 with upcoming games against Alabama and South Carolina. Yeah, you don't have to tell me. I already know. Things aren't looking good.
Just think, three years ago I watched Tennessee play LSU in the SEC Championship game. Fast forward to this season and I'm predicting them to finish with a losing record and the quarterback of the 2007 team is getting out of rehab and appearing in Jackass 3D? Wow. The fact that I predicted UT to have a losing record just three short seasons after playing for an SEC Championship is a drop off of astronomical proportions. And yes, I'm talking about both UT football and Erik Ainge.
Week in and week out it is becoming more and more painful to watch UT football. So guess what? I have assembled a list of 10 things for us as UT football fans to do that will help cheer us up on Tennessee Volunteer gamedays.
1) Sleep in. Don't worry about watching College Gameday. Why shouldn't you worry about it? 1) You know it's not in Knoxville, and 2) the UT game probably isn't going to appear in their "picks" segment. 2b) Even if they do end up picking the UT game, do you really want to know their picks?
2) Prepare like a champ. The tailgate is going to be key. Be prepared.
3) Dominate the tailgate. This one is simple. Key ingredients: Great food, cold beverages, good friends, a television to watch the rest of the days college football action on, a spare football to toss back and forth, and corn hole. Who can't have fun at that?
4) Live up the walk to the stadium. The walk to the stadium - excluding the opening kickoff - is more than likely going to be the most excited UT fans are all day. Don't miss your chance to scream V-O-L-S while your team isn't losing.
5) Get your popcorn ready. Make sure you have it before halftime. You never know when the band will do the Circle Drill.
6) Incorporate dance moves? You already know it's coming. Kenny Chesney's "Boys of Fall" song is going to play before the start of the 4th quarter. The answer to why they chose this slow country song to pump up 100 thousand fans before the beginning of the most important quarter escapes me. But it is what it is. When life throws you lemons make lemonade. When UT throws you Kenny Chesney make... uh... I'm not sure. Oh well.
7) The strip for some post game. After the game head to the strip with your friends. Win or lose, it'll be hopping. What happens when you get there is up to you.
8) Pick a weekly back-up team. This will probably come in handy the next two weeks when UT is facing - what looks to be - superior competition. For starters, I would not suggest this back-up team be Duke. You always want to look back on your Saturday and be able to say to yourself, "Well, at least one of the teams I rooted for today won." I am not condoning bandwagoning. I am simply suggesting quick and easy self moral boosters. These self moral boosters can be found in the form of teams such as Boise State, Oregon, and of course... Delaware.
9) Scoreboard watch. I'm not talking about top 25 scoreboard watching. Scroll farther down the page, find the North Texas score and then thank God you aren't a Mean Green fan.
10) Set your roster. Yes, I'm talking fantasy football. Can't help it. I'm hooked.
Until next time...
Five Forks on my mind.
Just think, three years ago I watched Tennessee play LSU in the SEC Championship game. Fast forward to this season and I'm predicting them to finish with a losing record and the quarterback of the 2007 team is getting out of rehab and appearing in Jackass 3D? Wow. The fact that I predicted UT to have a losing record just three short seasons after playing for an SEC Championship is a drop off of astronomical proportions. And yes, I'm talking about both UT football and Erik Ainge.
Week in and week out it is becoming more and more painful to watch UT football. So guess what? I have assembled a list of 10 things for us as UT football fans to do that will help cheer us up on Tennessee Volunteer gamedays.
1) Sleep in. Don't worry about watching College Gameday. Why shouldn't you worry about it? 1) You know it's not in Knoxville, and 2) the UT game probably isn't going to appear in their "picks" segment. 2b) Even if they do end up picking the UT game, do you really want to know their picks?
2) Prepare like a champ. The tailgate is going to be key. Be prepared.
3) Dominate the tailgate. This one is simple. Key ingredients: Great food, cold beverages, good friends, a television to watch the rest of the days college football action on, a spare football to toss back and forth, and corn hole. Who can't have fun at that?
4) Live up the walk to the stadium. The walk to the stadium - excluding the opening kickoff - is more than likely going to be the most excited UT fans are all day. Don't miss your chance to scream V-O-L-S while your team isn't losing.
5) Get your popcorn ready. Make sure you have it before halftime. You never know when the band will do the Circle Drill.
6) Incorporate dance moves? You already know it's coming. Kenny Chesney's "Boys of Fall" song is going to play before the start of the 4th quarter. The answer to why they chose this slow country song to pump up 100 thousand fans before the beginning of the most important quarter escapes me. But it is what it is. When life throws you lemons make lemonade. When UT throws you Kenny Chesney make... uh... I'm not sure. Oh well.
7) The strip for some post game. After the game head to the strip with your friends. Win or lose, it'll be hopping. What happens when you get there is up to you.
8) Pick a weekly back-up team. This will probably come in handy the next two weeks when UT is facing - what looks to be - superior competition. For starters, I would not suggest this back-up team be Duke. You always want to look back on your Saturday and be able to say to yourself, "Well, at least one of the teams I rooted for today won." I am not condoning bandwagoning. I am simply suggesting quick and easy self moral boosters. These self moral boosters can be found in the form of teams such as Boise State, Oregon, and of course... Delaware.
9) Scoreboard watch. I'm not talking about top 25 scoreboard watching. Scroll farther down the page, find the North Texas score and then thank God you aren't a Mean Green fan.
10) Set your roster. Yes, I'm talking fantasy football. Can't help it. I'm hooked.
Until next time...
Five Forks on my mind.
Monday, October 18, 2010
A quick intro
Welcome to my blog! I've never done this before, and my opening "Welcome to my blog!" line hopefully isn't the precursor for lame blogs to come. But looking at it now, I can't believe that was the first sentence I wrote in my first ever blog post. I mean honestly, who all is going to read this anyways? Who am I welcoming to my blog? Mom? Meg? That's two. Oh well.
Weekly fantasy football update: I may or may not be in three fantasy football leagues. Ridiculous? Probably, but that debate is for another day. But today is a day worthy of jubilant celebration. Not only did I get to spend the entire day with my beautiful girlfriend, but I also got to watch all three of my fantasy teams lock up three huge wins. Yep! Read 'em in weak! 3-0 this week. Not really any huge games from anyone, but I had just enough solid 12-15 point performances to get by with victories. With my three wins this week, my records jump to 6-0, 5-1, and 3-3. And look at me right now. I am sitting here bragging about how I (emphasis on the "I") won three football games this week! I didn't do anything other than draft the players on my rosters to earn those victories. Isn't it crazy how we as fantasy football owners take ownership of the players on our team - or in my case, teams? The fact that we get visibly frustrated with players for not performing like we think they should on Sundays or Mondays is head scratching. I mean look at DeSean Jackson today. The poor guy was on his way to probably a 30 point outburst before getting knocked back into the 1980s where Terrell Pryor's half fade haircut would still be in style. It's guys like Jackson that lay it all out on the field week in and week out. They are the true athletes who deserve to do the bragging. But hey, fantasy football is what it is, and I love it. I'm a tall, lanky white kid. If Peyton Manning were to hit me on a crossing pattern over the middle, any 4th string, practice squad linebacker could put me in a hospital. Good for them. I think I'll pass. And believe me, my 4.9 forty time would be outclocked by most punters and kickers in the League anyways. Although, I did have a dream one time where I was in a footrace with Ochocinco... and a horse. I dusted them. It was a memorable one - obviously.
But anyways, I've rambled enough. Until next time, Go Vols, Go Tigers (Clemson), Go Wahoos, and Go Steelers! And yes, believe it or not, I have ties to all of those schools/teams.
Five Forks on my mind.
Weekly fantasy football update: I may or may not be in three fantasy football leagues. Ridiculous? Probably, but that debate is for another day. But today is a day worthy of jubilant celebration. Not only did I get to spend the entire day with my beautiful girlfriend, but I also got to watch all three of my fantasy teams lock up three huge wins. Yep! Read 'em in weak! 3-0 this week. Not really any huge games from anyone, but I had just enough solid 12-15 point performances to get by with victories. With my three wins this week, my records jump to 6-0, 5-1, and 3-3. And look at me right now. I am sitting here bragging about how I (emphasis on the "I") won three football games this week! I didn't do anything other than draft the players on my rosters to earn those victories. Isn't it crazy how we as fantasy football owners take ownership of the players on our team - or in my case, teams? The fact that we get visibly frustrated with players for not performing like we think they should on Sundays or Mondays is head scratching. I mean look at DeSean Jackson today. The poor guy was on his way to probably a 30 point outburst before getting knocked back into the 1980s where Terrell Pryor's half fade haircut would still be in style. It's guys like Jackson that lay it all out on the field week in and week out. They are the true athletes who deserve to do the bragging. But hey, fantasy football is what it is, and I love it. I'm a tall, lanky white kid. If Peyton Manning were to hit me on a crossing pattern over the middle, any 4th string, practice squad linebacker could put me in a hospital. Good for them. I think I'll pass. And believe me, my 4.9 forty time would be outclocked by most punters and kickers in the League anyways. Although, I did have a dream one time where I was in a footrace with Ochocinco... and a horse. I dusted them. It was a memorable one - obviously.
But anyways, I've rambled enough. Until next time, Go Vols, Go Tigers (Clemson), Go Wahoos, and Go Steelers! And yes, believe it or not, I have ties to all of those schools/teams.
Five Forks on my mind.
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