Lebron's hugtackle

It only took one incredible, off-the-cuff hugtackle for Lebron James to soften the hearts of his haters.

Friday night during the Pistons vs. Heat game in Miami, a fan (Michael Drysch) made an absolutely ridiculous hook shot from half court to win $75,000 and Lebron James was the first person to greet him in jubilation. On second thought, maybe I should have put “jubilation” in all caps. Why does “jubilation” deserve the “all caps” crown? The answer simply lies within this youtube video.

In this video we witness a few actions take flight.

              1.     How in the world did Joe Shmo hit a sky hook from 45 feet?

I mean seriously, the chances of this dude hitting this half court “jumper” are running stunningly parallel to Lindsay Lohan making it back to 100% sobriety. WOW! A hook shot from half court!? Get out of here. I’ve seen a plant complete total photosynthesis in 23 hours, but I’ve never witnessed a hook shot made from midcourt! (Disclaimer: I’ve never seen a plant complete photosynthesis. I don’t even know if I’m spelling it correctly, but either way, you’re catching my drift.) The guy absolutely nailed the shot! Yep, just watched it again for clarification. Swish. Renaldo Woolridge should write a song about this guy. On second thought, let’s let this guy’s star shine a little longer. Renaldo, don’t even think about it… USC sucks and Lane Kiffin will forever be the world’s most prominent doucher. But moving on.

              2.     Lebron’s heroic reaction

It’s as if he knew this was his time. His time to win back all the haters. To bring all the people who hated Lebron for his awesomeness to the glory squad. But there’s only one way to describe Lebron’s reaction to his main man Michael’s half court miracle heave; His reaction was pure happiness. Off the cuff joy. An unbelievable outcome becoming reality. A random, unathletic, overweight white guy sinking a half court sky hook for 75 large! How do you react to that? You go tackle the guy who just sank the most miraculous two seconds of his life of course. Lebron, your reaction was incredible. Just watch the video.

            3. The “I want to but I better not” reaction by the Pistons’ bench

It’s clear the Pistons’ players wanted to rush and sack the sky hook guy too (18 second mark of the video). But their team is terrible. Tayshaun Prince is 44, Kyle Singler is white, and they knew that bullrushing the poor guy who just drained a year’s worth of compensation would undoubtedly lead to a SportsCenter Not Top 10 nominee – a nomination that would possibly compete with Mark Sanchez’s “Butt Fumble” for worst of the worst. Even if you only score 24% of the nation’s vote against Mark Sanchez and the Jets, you still lose. The Pistons knew this. They also knew that a decline in Chrysler 300 sales was inevitable if they dog piled/ mosh pitted Michael at half court – and nobody can afford to piss off Ndamukong Suh.

4.     The “I love you too, man” back slap

Yes, probably my favorite part of Michael’s celebration with Lebron was the part when Lebron rolled him over and Michael started viciously nailing Lebron on the back (The 10 and 28 second portion of the video) in a pure “I love you too, bro” moment. The dude just deposited $75,000 in the bank AND Bron Bron is laying on top of him! Not only was King James wearing out Michael’s auditory nerve in his left ear, but he was doing it in such an astonishing fashion.  For this three seconds of his life, Lebron is in true, fourth grader, “That-was-such-an-awesome-field-trip-and-I-just-want-to-hug-my-favorite-teacher-in-the-world” form. There’s no doubt in my mind that Michael couldn’t even breathe in these, what had to seem like, fleeting seconds of his life. But who cares. It’s Lebron James, and he is completely bro’ing out with you in a way that has never been seen before. Michael, great “I love you too man” back slap. It made me smile at least.

So all this is being said in an attempt to say, “Yes, this is the best reaction to a made bucket in the history of promotional half court shots.” After his “decision” to leave Cleveland for Miami, Lebron’s stock was sitting as pretty as Mila Kunis without makeup. (Don’t believe me that she’s ugly? Just take a gander here. ) James lost thousands of fans when he left the Cleve. People absolutely hated him. Fans were cursing his name on TV and No. 23 Cleveland jerseys were being set to flames. The casual fan saw his decision as a pompous move - One that was primarily targeting self-attention. But now, one championship ring and hugtackle later, fans are seeming to come around to Lebron. And hey, he deserves it. What other man can effortlessly pull off an all out, full-frontal, man hug that quickly turns into a solid form tackle that even Ray Lewis is jealous of? Lebron is just like you and me. He has the ability to break out into sporadic, candid acts of excitement. But where we are getting pumped about landing Toad as our driver in Mario Kart, Lebron is hugtackling a guy at half court because he just splashed 75 grand into his bank account.

Don’t hate Lebron because he’s awesome. Hate him because he could probably beat you on N64.

He’s just that good.  

Bubba

Who would have ever thought a boy named Bubba would win the Masters? Shoot, who in their wildest dreams would have envisioned a self-taught, bombs away, never-had-a-lesson-in-my- life, pink driver hittin’ lefty would have won the most storied golf tournament known to man?

Gary Bubba Watson Jr. defied the odds.

On a Sunday highlighted by the fourth double eagle in Master’s history, two aces, a shank, another Mickelson triple and no Tiger Woods on the CBS broadcast, a fight to the death showdown broke out in the day’s second to last pairing between Louis Oosthuizen and Bubba Watson to see who would be invited inside the Butler Cabin. And after the dust settled it was a Bubba donning the green jacket.

Birdies on 13, 14, 15 and 16 drew Bubba into a tie with Louis who had bottle rocketed his way into the lead after his albatross at No. 2. The duo matched each other golf shot for golf shot the whole day but it was clear who the crowd favorite was.

How could you not cheer for Bubba? Here’s a guy who rocked the exact same all white outfit the entire four days of the tournament, slugs away with a pink driver, drinks goat milk to make his hair shiny, is the proud owner of the Dukes of Hazard car, just adopted a son less than a month ago, is a co-star in the now famous Golf Boys video, and oh yeah, he can hit a pitching wedge 174 yards. What’s not to love?

In case you needed another reason to cheer for him, Saturday evening, after he completed his third round, Bubba tweeted, “Thanks everyone for the support! 3 reasons tomorrow will be #awesome, 1. Jesus is risen 2. See my new baby boy & my wife 3. Masters Sunday.” Talk about an incredible perspective.  Yeah, Bubba’s got it going on.  

And it’s obvious he is loved by more than just the fans. After he tapped in, hugged his mom and caddy, and dampened No. 10’s green with his tears, three of Bubba’s competitors and close friends were there to embrace him with congratulatory, grown man hugs. It was the first time I had ever seen anything like it in my life. The amount of pure emotion engulfing Augusta National after his victory was incredible.

After his victory Bubba was asked if he ever dreamed about winning the Masters. His response was legendary: “I’ve never made it this far in my dreams.”

Welcome to your undreamed dream, Bubba. We’re just glad we could witness it with you.

  

The dreaded "Q"

In the past, when people have asked me if I have any pet peeves, I have casually shrugged my shoulders and said, "Nah, not really."

I've never been satisfied with that answer.

"Nah, not really" isn't a good answer for any question ever asked. For example: You hear someone ask another person, "Hey, do you have aids?" They respond by saying, "Nah, not really." Confusion immediately ensues.

Well guess what, I finally have a major pet peeve. And yes, it involves fantasy football.

I absolutely cannot stand it when you have been checking the status of players all week, and come Friday, you still don't know if they are going to play in Sunday or Monday's game or not.

I have Darren McFadden on my roster. ALL WEEK ESPN planted a big, fat, red "Q" beside his name. The "Q" stands for questionable. When I click on their pop-up blurb to see the latest on his status for the upcoming game, ESPN makes it sound like he can barely walk!

Let's just say when I hear the word "questionable," I'm thinking that McFadden will not be playing in the game on Sunday. Is it reasonable for me to assume this? I'd like to think so.

So what did I do? I benched McFadden for the week. He's "questionable." Of course I benched him. I'd rather Beanie Wells sop up his lousy five points than have McFadden's spot going to waste on my roster. Yes, going to waste. Going to waste like sloppy joe sandwiches in a high school cafeteria. For the record, sloppy joe's served in a cafeteria are absolutely atrocious and should never even be eaten by my neighbors dog - who, by the way, constantly drops bombs in our front yard - much less humans.

But yeah, come Saturday I'm still staring at this giant "Q" beside Run DMC's name. In my book, he's out - not playing.

Not in his.

How does McFadden reward me for placing him on the bench for the week? Does he chill on the sidelines in his street clothes with a damp towel around his neck and a fitted hat resting softly on the top of his head cocked a little to the side? Not a chance.

What does he do? He plays. But not only does he play, he careers it! Unbelievable. The man went off for 43 fantasy points! 43 points for a guy with a big, red "Q" beside his name all week?! Are you kidding me!? Wow.

In case you were wondering, yes, I did lose the game. And yes, it was by less than 43 points. Much less.

Thanks ESPN. Because of you, I will never have to say, "Nah, not really" ever again.

Until next time...

FF

The next great L.T.

Step aside Lawrence Taylor and LaDainian Tomlinson. It's time to share the most famous initials in professional football.

Lawrence Timmons, linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, is the next great L.T. in the NFL. Call me a homer if you wish, but there is no denying that the man is a freak. Through five games this season he already has stacked up 59 tackles, three sacks, one forced fumble and one interception. Not to mention, he lays the wood... legally. And believe me when I say the NFL's crackdown on illegal hits doesn't have Timmons mulling retirement unlike another star, Steelers defensive player. But that discussion is for another day.

Until next time...

FF

The life of a fan of the cellar dweller

Before this year's Tennessee football season started, I predicted the Vols would go 5-7. The only reason I predicted the record I did was just in case they did happen to have a losing record - psychologically at least -  it wouldn't hurt as bad. Well that theory has proven false. Every time UT loses it still... well... it still sucks. We currently sit at the season's halfway point and the Vols are 2-4 with upcoming games against Alabama and South Carolina. Yeah, you don't have to tell me. I already know. Things aren't looking good.

Just think, three years ago I watched Tennessee play LSU in the SEC Championship game. Fast forward to this season and I'm predicting them to finish with a losing record and the quarterback of the 2007 team is getting out of rehab and appearing in Jackass 3D? Wow. The fact that I predicted UT to have a losing record just three short seasons after playing for an SEC Championship is a drop off of astronomical proportions. And yes, I'm talking about both UT football and Erik Ainge.

Week in and week out it is becoming more and more painful to watch UT football. So guess what? I have assembled a list of  10 things for us as UT football fans to do that will help cheer us up on Tennessee Volunteer gamedays.

1) Sleep in. Don't worry about watching College Gameday. Why shouldn't you worry about it? 1) You know it's not in Knoxville, and 2) the UT game probably isn't going to appear in their "picks" segment. 2b) Even if they do end up picking the UT game, do you really want to know their picks?

2) Prepare like a champ. The tailgate is going to be key. Be prepared.  

3) Dominate the tailgate. This one is simple. Key ingredients: Great food, cold beverages, good friends, a television to watch the rest of the days college football action on, a spare football to toss back and forth, and corn hole. Who can't have fun at that?


4) Live up the walk to the stadium. The walk to the stadium - excluding the opening kickoff -  is more than likely going to be the most excited UT fans are all day. Don't miss your chance to scream V-O-L-S while your team isn't losing.  

5) Get your popcorn ready. Make sure you have it before halftime. You never know when the band will do the Circle Drill.

6) Incorporate dance moves? You already know it's coming. Kenny Chesney's "Boys of Fall" song is going to play before the start of the 4th quarter. The answer to why they chose this slow country song to pump up 100 thousand fans before the beginning of the most important quarter escapes me. But it is what it is. When life throws you lemons make lemonade. When UT throws you Kenny Chesney make... uh... I'm not sure. Oh well.

7) The strip for some post game. After the game head to the strip with your friends. Win or lose, it'll be hopping. What happens when you get there is up to you.

8) Pick a weekly back-up team. This will probably come in handy the next two weeks when UT is facing - what looks to be - superior competition. For starters, I would not suggest this back-up team be Duke. You always want to look back on your Saturday and be able to say to yourself, "Well, at least one of the teams I rooted for today won." I am not condoning bandwagoning. I am simply suggesting quick and easy self moral boosters. These self moral boosters can be found in the form of teams such as Boise State, Oregon, and of course... Delaware.

9) Scoreboard watch. I'm not talking about top 25 scoreboard watching. Scroll farther down the page, find the North Texas score and then thank God you aren't a Mean Green fan.

10) Set your roster. Yes, I'm talking fantasy football. Can't help it. I'm hooked.

Until next time...

Five Forks on my mind.

A quick intro

Welcome to my blog! I've never done this before, and my opening "Welcome to my blog!" line hopefully isn't the precursor for lame blogs to come. But looking at it now, I can't believe that was the first sentence I wrote in my first ever blog post. I mean honestly, who all is going to read this anyways? Who am I welcoming to my blog? Mom? Meg? That's two. Oh well.

Weekly fantasy football update: I may or may not be in three fantasy football leagues. Ridiculous? Probably, but that debate is for another day. But today is a day worthy of jubilant celebration. Not only did I get to spend the entire day with my beautiful girlfriend, but I also got to watch all three of my fantasy teams lock up three huge wins. Yep! Read 'em in weak! 3-0 this week. Not really any huge games from anyone, but I had just enough solid 12-15 point performances to get by with victories. With my three wins this week, my records jump to 6-0, 5-1, and 3-3. And look at me right now. I am sitting here bragging about how I (emphasis on the "I") won three football games this week! I didn't do anything other than draft the players on my rosters to earn those victories. Isn't it crazy how we as fantasy football owners take ownership of the players on our team - or in my case, teams? The fact that we get visibly frustrated with players for not performing like we think they should on Sundays or Mondays is head scratching. I mean look at DeSean Jackson today. The poor guy was on his way to probably a 30 point outburst before getting knocked back into the 1980s where Terrell Pryor's half fade haircut would still be in style. It's guys like Jackson that lay it all out on the field week in and week out. They are the true athletes who deserve to do the bragging. But hey, fantasy football is what it is, and I love it. I'm a tall, lanky white kid. If Peyton Manning were to hit me on a crossing pattern over the middle, any 4th string, practice squad linebacker could put me in a hospital. Good for them. I think I'll pass. And believe me, my 4.9 forty time would be outclocked by most punters and kickers in the League anyways. Although, I did have a dream one time where I was in a footrace with Ochocinco... and a horse. I dusted them. It was a memorable one - obviously.

But anyways, I've rambled enough. Until next time, Go Vols, Go Tigers (Clemson), Go Wahoos, and Go Steelers! And yes, believe it or not, I have ties to all of those schools/teams.

Five Forks on my mind.