It only took one incredible, off-the-cuff hugtackle for
Lebron James to soften the hearts of his haters.
Friday night during the Pistons vs. Heat game in Miami, a
fan (Michael Drysch) made
an absolutely ridiculous hook shot from half court to win $75,000 and Lebron James
was the first person to greet him in jubilation. On second thought, maybe I
should have put “jubilation” in all caps. Why does “jubilation” deserve the “all
caps” crown? The answer simply lies within this youtube video.
In this video we witness a few actions take flight.
1. How in the world did Joe Shmo hit a sky hook from 45 feet?
I mean seriously, the chances of this dude hitting this half
court “jumper” are running stunningly parallel to Lindsay Lohan making it back
to 100% sobriety. WOW! A hook shot from half court!? Get out of here. I’ve seen
a plant complete total photosynthesis in 23 hours, but I’ve never witnessed a
hook shot made from midcourt! (Disclaimer: I’ve never seen a plant complete
photosynthesis. I don’t even know if I’m spelling it correctly, but either way,
you’re catching my drift.) The guy absolutely nailed the shot! Yep, just
watched it again for clarification. Swish. Renaldo Woolridge should write a
song about this guy. On second thought, let’s let this guy’s star shine a
little longer. Renaldo, don’t even think about it… USC sucks and Lane Kiffin
will forever be the world’s most prominent doucher. But moving on.
2. Lebron’s heroic reaction
It’s as if he knew this was his time. His time to win back
all the haters. To bring all the people who hated Lebron for his awesomeness to
the glory squad. But there’s only one way to describe Lebron’s reaction to his
main man Michael’s half court miracle heave; His reaction was pure happiness. Off
the cuff joy. An unbelievable outcome becoming reality. A random, unathletic,
overweight white guy sinking a half court sky hook for 75 large! How do you
react to that? You go tackle the guy who just sank the most miraculous two
seconds of his life of course. Lebron, your reaction was incredible. Just watch
the video.
3. The “I
want to but I better not” reaction by the Pistons’ bench
It’s clear the Pistons’ players wanted to rush and sack the sky
hook guy too (18 second mark of the video). But their team is terrible.
Tayshaun Prince is 44, Kyle Singler is white, and they knew that bullrushing
the poor guy who just drained a year’s worth of compensation would undoubtedly
lead to a SportsCenter Not Top 10 nominee – a nomination that would possibly
compete with Mark Sanchez’s “Butt Fumble” for worst of the worst. Even if you only
score 24% of the nation’s vote against Mark Sanchez and the Jets, you still
lose. The Pistons knew this. They also knew that a decline in Chrysler 300
sales was inevitable if they dog piled/ mosh pitted Michael at half court – and
nobody can afford to piss off Ndamukong Suh.
4.
The “I love you too, man” back slap
Yes, probably my favorite part of Michael’s celebration with
Lebron was the part when Lebron rolled him over and Michael started viciously
nailing Lebron on the back (The 10 and 28 second portion of the video) in a
pure “I love you too, bro” moment. The dude just deposited $75,000 in the bank
AND Bron Bron is laying on top of him! Not only was King James wearing out
Michael’s auditory nerve in his left ear, but he was doing it in such an
astonishing fashion. For this three
seconds of his life, Lebron is in true, fourth grader,
“That-was-such-an-awesome-field-trip-and-I-just-want-to-hug-my-favorite-teacher-in-the-world”
form. There’s no doubt in my mind that Michael couldn’t even breathe in these, what
had to seem like, fleeting seconds of his life. But who cares. It’s Lebron
James, and he is completely bro’ing out with you in a way that has never been
seen before. Michael, great “I love you too man” back slap. It made me smile at
least.
So all this is being said in an attempt to say, “Yes, this is the best reaction to a made bucket in the history of promotional half court shots.” After his “decision” to leave Cleveland for Miami, Lebron’s stock was sitting as pretty as Mila Kunis without makeup. (Don’t believe me that she’s ugly? Just take a gander here. ) James lost thousands of fans when he left the Cleve. People absolutely hated him. Fans were cursing his name on TV and No. 23 Cleveland jerseys were being set to flames. The casual fan saw his decision as a pompous move - One that was primarily targeting self-attention. But now, one championship ring and hugtackle later, fans are seeming to come around to Lebron. And hey, he deserves it. What other man can effortlessly pull off an all out, full-frontal, man hug that quickly turns into a solid form tackle that even Ray Lewis is jealous of? Lebron is just like you and me. He has the ability to break out into sporadic, candid acts of excitement. But where we are getting pumped about landing Toad as our driver in Mario Kart, Lebron is hugtackling a guy at half court because he just splashed 75 grand into his bank account.
Don’t hate Lebron because he’s awesome. Hate him because he could probably beat you on N64.
He’s just that good.
